There is a hole in the middle of me. A deep, horrible hole. It is the center of me. It swallows my being. The rest of what’s in me has collapsed and fallen in, like broken glass, to fill the gap. My eyes are frozen blocks. They are lifeless glass orbs that desire substance, but only find empty whisps of darkness and longing. Their cries echo through my empty insides. My breaths come as stale gusts of a dead wind that pushes the tattered flag of my consciousness in its slow limp. It does not flutter, it seizes and convulses as it slowly perishes. My blood moves in fragmented jerks through my veins. My heart shudders in its vacuum cavity, in the dreary hole of ice and darkness where it rests suspended.
My passion is singular and complete. I press against it with my ragged exhausted strength. My feet slip through the sand as I give way to temptation. The spear of my want and NEED drives through my deranged and battered being. It cuts me, it breaks me, it seduces me. The words flow through my skull like the tick of the seconds that whir endlessly forward through time.
I need it.
I need it.
The ticking gets louder and louder.
I need it. Tick. I need it. Tick. I need it. Boom.
As seconds pass, and hours and days and eternities spin by the voice gets louder… The voices grow in number…
You need it… You need it… You need it… BOOM. I need it… I need it… Tick… Tick… tick…
The over-wound clock presses onwards with deafening and steady vigor.
I NEED IT TICK I NEED IT TICK I NEED I TICK I NEED IT!
The voices scream at me.
I scream at me.
The seconds tick.
I NEED IT. TICK. I NEED IT. TICK. I NEED IT. TICK.
Night falls and spins and rises again.
I NEED IT.
My frozen-block eyes fall to my fragmented-blood veins.
Tick… Tick… Tick…
I put the needle in.