Monthly Archives: April 2012


It’s quiet in here
The crickets chirp outside
The insects are quite alive
But I’m alone in here
The muffled cries
Of empty nights
Are but a trace
Inside of here
It is dark in here
Shadows trace
Across the shallow sky
The ceiling fan’s eye
Makes no mistake in judgement
My peace is here
The rustling night
Holds no appeal to my terror
My heart beat slows
I am alone
I am alone in here
And it comforts me
To see
The bursting youth
the bulletproof face
Of my resting place
I am alone in here
And it is my desire
The night sets no fire
Ablaze in my heart
I like the dark.
And It’s dark in here.

It’s dark in here
I lie awake
my breath accelerates
to a frightening pace
I’m alone in here
Darkness’ stead
wraps my restless head
There’s no help for me here
No love
No hate
No choices
No fate
Only empty walls
And the voiceless calls
Of the oscillation overhead.
I’m dead in here
I’m alive in here
I’m nothing in here
Nothing is everything here
I wish here would disappear
My chest contracts
As my eyes dialate
To see the fate
I cannot
By the door,
The shore of my island
On which I’m trapped
For ever more
I’m alone in here
and safe from the world
Safe from my home
From love
From hate
From decisions or fate
Only trapped
In My shell
My prison
My hell
Under the spell of
Eternal nothing
That endless longing
For something
That is not even there
Or anywhere
I’m trapped in here
In there
In everywhere
I’m trapped in nowhere
And there is no door
To lead to there,
To lead somewhere
I’m trapped in here.

Love’s Fool (Picture it & write #15)

Oh what a fool I am.
Stupidity left unmatched
What a fool I was
To walk the land of love
And think I might escape
Empty nights
And dreamless terror
Surround me now
In my frigid
Shallow breaths
And goodbyes never said
Cast shadows of wrinkles
Across my mourning face
My daylight collapsed
And twilight did too
Now the night and I
Rest alone in our world
Of perpetual dark.
Scars mark my eyes
Where goodbyes never said
Replay in my head.
Oh what a fool I am.

Graduation Speech

Greetings classmates, and welcome to Hell.

These were the greatest years of our lives. But now they’re over. Now, we are all off to the big boy world. A world full of debt, sorrow, work, exhaustion, and death. A world of excruciating failure and dreams forever left in ruin. A world where your neighbors steal your newspapers and loan sharks break your kneecaps. So it’s time to prepare for the bloodbath.

The whole world lies ahead of us now. We will all scamper off on our own paths, but they all lead to the same result. A broken back, and eventual mortal failure. Not to say that is immediately before us though. First, we must slowly decay into said condition. So on this great day of celebration, thus day of graduation from this tiny play world of menial sadness and meaning, into the real world, I hope you bought your barf bags.

If there is one thing living in this play world has taught me, it is that the cruelty of humanity is unrivaled by any other known species. People are mean, and go about their own empty lives in a crooked, empty attempt to make someone else’s life slightly less comfortable. I have learned of the impossibility of a happy life ahead, and really how pointless it all is. Our existence is an unfortunate happening at best. So, the wisdom that I can pass on to you, on to you all, is to be nice. Treat others at least slightly better than trash. We’ve all been treated like garbage before (actually my pet name among my friends is garbage) and it just makes us all feel slightly more grim. Which is a horrid way to feel when you’re literally waste high in the garbage of a garbagy world. I urge you all to treat one another somewhat nicely, hold doors and whatnot, because it really sucks when you’re wading through the earlier mentioned garbage of life AND people are throwing rocks at you, ranging from pebbles to boulders.

            With an act of kindness, there is always the chance that, just like a foreign agent infecting a nation of innocents and killing them all, your kindness might spread. Such cases are often rare (due to man’s inherit jerkish nature) but still, even the chance of an “outbreak of kindness” is worth pursuing. If one could encourage such an infection, one ought to. In a world where kindness is spread aggressively, we might even be able to forget about things like lawsuits, poor business principles, and warmongering. Kindness’ terrifying grasp might blot out negativity aimed at each other entirely, and I think that would be very nice indeed.

            However, being the semi-rational human male that I am, I find it very difficult to buy into an idea like that. I know that no matter how much one man might want a nice happy world with declining taxes and free veterinary care for thousands of cute little puppies, one hundred other men will say “No, we would rather bury ourselves in filth and then ferment for ten years, and after fermenting write a very long essay of perhaps 254 pages to explain to you why the world is better buried in the filth of our design”, and then proceed to beat the one man with a good idea into an early and unfortunate grave (see Jesus). Man does such things out of self-interest. Just as man is jerkish by nature, man is also rather entirely self-interested.

            To disregard the fact that most everyone ignores the negative effects of self interest, including at very least a portion of you all, would be unwise, so I won’t. Instead, I will urge those of you who are not sleeping right now to consider my words, and consider them heavily. Once you have done that, take on the paranoid and extremely cynical personality type that I have, and be very aware that no matter how much good you might want for the world, there will be many other that disagree, violently. So I ask you, those who listen, is it better to fight for the kindness you stand for (and plausibly die, accomplishing nothing), or to hide and survive in worthless silence behind the impenetrable wall of extremist self-lovers and destroyers of kindness, love, and eventually humanity, still accomplishing nothing.

Class mates, it is with great sorrow that I congratulate you on your graduation, and it is with half-hearted hope that I wish you the very best you can make of the garbage that life will hand you. One man’s trash, I suppose.

The Face

The Face

The Face

Face of my dreams

And memories

The Face

My disgrace,

A black ink stain

Floods an uncertain page,

Torn around the edges,

Dimensions relenting,

The Face

The Face

Disaster in the making.

The Face

Marks scars in my past

Chasms of blackened, empty


The Face

My mourning

My regret

My sorrowful sun set

The Face

Black eyes

Roseless cheeks

Hidden teeth

Bloodless lies

Hide empty holes torn wide

From failures and fuses

And slow gripping nooses

A loose end,

The Face

Startles my sleep,

The Face of my dreams.


Profound and Unexpected Wisdom #3

A passage I took from Facebook and stuck up here. Curtosy of Jon Wakefied! It’s not verified, but the student is said to be Einstein.

Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does satan come from ?

Student : From … GOD …

Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.

Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.


I believe you have enjoyed the conversation. And if so, you’ll probably want your friends / colleagues to enjoy the same, won’t you?

Forward this to increase their knowledge … or FAITH.

Signed With Contempt

Dear Joe,

I wish you dead

I want your head

You trouble me greatly

Day to day.

You amplify my issues

You will my happiness

To drift away.

You are a burden,

You are an issue,

An unforgettable

Worthless and inexcusable

Waste of my time and thought,

and I wish you would not

Haunt me this way,

From day to day,

As I sleep at night,

Or lie wide awake

Deep in entrancing awareness

Of your inescapable presence.

You are a curse

And a gift from hell

And here’s what I’ll tell you

To your face,

You are a disgrace

To me

And everything I could be.

With Contempt,

Your heart

Curtain of Death (Picture it & write #14)

Picture it and write time 🙂


Under the curtain
The black mist falls
On children’s heads
In the wake of the dead

Their bodies are pale
In the corpse-like moonlight
As white as the bone
Behind peeled back skin

Their flesh is cold and damp
Under the black mist of war

Under the curtain of Death’s black stamp
Lie placid chalk marks of violence’s score

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